16 Comments
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Chris Nathan's avatar

OMG you are one of the funniest writers I know. “The air was crisp”...“Knife-wielding toddler”... “megalomaniacal simpleton, with utopian designs, often global”...”staying at the Hyatt.” Classic. If there was any justice in the world of letters you’d get your $79.99 a month.

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Kevin Durant?'s avatar

If only people knew how much time I spent deciding whether $69.99 $79.99 or $89.99 sounded funnier.

😂😂

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Chris Nathan's avatar

The writers out here both (a) know this only pretends to be a light joke and (b) feel your pain. Seven is absolutely hands down funnier than Eight, and Six - although it is quite funny - just has too many complicated overtones next to all those nines. Your ear is flawless!

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Kevin Durant?'s avatar

Yeah $69.99 was too much of a blunt instrument LOL

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Masa Jones's avatar

I think $66.60 would have been even funnier. Of course you can never go wrong with a good ol 69 "bucks"

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Kevin Durant?'s avatar

I chuckled at “The air was crisp.” when I was writing it.

😂😂

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AisforApril's avatar

"Try divorcing a woman..." LMBO.

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Kevin Durant?'s avatar

Hehehe only the cool girls like that joke.

🤗🤗

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Stewie's avatar

I kind of assumed that at least someone was actually paying him that much, but maybe not. I agree that this one is worth bookmarking, even if no one else said it... I'm putting words in people's hand-outputs. The words that come from not the mouth? I'm not a writer, but the more I program the worse my typing gets.

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ruralbob's avatar

I have found someone who makes me laugh as much as Dave Barry does.

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Kevin Durant?'s avatar

I’ve read him before a long time ago and he’s great. Thank you for this awesome compliment which will spike my arrogance to dangerous levels!!!

I now feel like giving a speech from a balcony while nodding aggressively at my own ideas.

😂😂🙏🙏

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Guttermouth's avatar

If this gets pushed to its natural conclusion, which is frankly the only way I see the doubling- down ever stopping, a lot worse is going to happen to these people than having their funding pulled.

The question is whether it will be a mob of angry citizens or invading Chinese or Russian soldiers that are making them dig their own graves before giving them a retirement plan behind their ears.

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Kevin Durant?'s avatar

Democrats bankrupted multiple Trump associates with baseless legal actions and an MSNBC contributor, Andrew Weismann, almost tortured Paul Manafort to death.

It can be done.

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Guttermouth's avatar

So the party in control of the deep state and big tech and in the process of reengineering the military and the economy can be taken to task using the methods they used to dismantle feckless Republicans, entirely within the system?

Skeptical. But we'll see.

Also you bested me on that Venezuelan oil thing so I consider you a highly credible and qualified source. It's a really good thing there were all these Teslas sitting around for me to drive back home with.

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Kevin Durant?'s avatar

I am more skeptical than you. It’s incredibly unlikely. But it’s not impossible.

It’s like cancel culture. You only need to find a way to destroy a couple of them, publicly, and then the rest get the message. So stripping the pensions of the people who reinstated McCabe’s pension would be a good start.

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Guttermouth's avatar

I agree that would be a nice way for it to unfold.

Part of me still prefers guillotines.

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