TGI Ooooof

Active communist Matt Labash fills in for retired communist Nellie Bowles and it’s a doozy

I AM VERY SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG BUT I HAVE BEEN BUSY GOLFING AND APOLOGIZING TO BLACK PEOPLE FOR SLAVERY SO THIS TGIF IS A LITTLE LATE!!!

“Though who really knows what RFK Jr. was up to? Maybe writing in his sex journal, or drafting new litigation thumping Big Pharma for trying to kill us all with Flintstones chewables. I’m gonna miss that guy when he’s totally irrelevant again, as opposed to the mostly irrelevant that he is now.”

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(I had to use forward slashes to separate the quote above from my comment below because this POS app glitches when I try to use the hyphen for reasons that are only known to the queers who designed this app)

Okay so I’m not like an RFK supporter or anything. However, people who are strongly opposed to him are literally all huge douche bags and I have taken note of this fact. I’m kinda indifferent to RFK except for the part where I want DeSantis to hire him to frog-march DC residents into the ocean in 2028. Regardless, mocking someone for suing the pharmaceutical companies is like……. *highly-inappropriate analogy manufacturing plant belches smoke and lights flicker*……….its like mocking a abused pregnant teenager for crying or mocking the soldiers on D Day for being hyper-vigilant about the machine gun nests. “Oh are you worried about the guys with the gas-powered machine guns? Ooooo so scary lol stop complaining ya debunked conspiracy losers!!!”

Obviously, Matt Labash is extremely vaccinated and his sperm is bright red now and he has his septuple-stamped vaccine card in one of those plastic baseball card protector things and he has four cardiologists.

“But maybe The Washington Post and I are biased. Still, good to see—in these inward-looking nationalist times—that free trade is alive and well.”

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You see, when the alleged ‘nationalists’ are not in charge of one single thing anywhere at all, and a bunch of megalomaniac utopian Democrat dipshits who attended college are setting the world on fire because of how fucking incompetent they are, we get to attack the ‘nationalists’, who didn’t cause any of this, because they disagree with our retarded plan to dominate earth that we came up with in the library.

To be fair, free trade is really paying off right now because giving custody of your supply chain to Chinese Communists is the exact thing you want to do prior to going to war with them.

Sweet Jesus, this Labash guy is a top-tier brainwashed global citizen NPC. I anxiously await his explanation of how gangbangers from Venezuela built this country. If I put my ear to the ground I can her this cliched libtard assertion galloping towards me like a horse with Down syndrome.

“The thinking goes that in order not to scare off flyover-country voters as a black/South Asian woman who, say, wants to empty our prisons while having unjustly imprisoned people as a prosecutor”

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This reminds me of when Kamala was first announced and I was watching MSNBC and during the press conference she said “Trust me. I know his type.” about Trump, referencing her time as a prosecutor, and I screamed at my TV “Yeah because he committed fake crimes just like the Black guys you put in prison for having $17.00 worth of weed you stupid bitch!!!”

I enjoy watching cable news.

“Vance’s larger problem, however, is that he sucks on the stump and nearly everybody hates him.”

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And we know this is true because every single person in America, who has a track record of lying about everything, said this exact thing, all at the same time, in a way that was indistinguishable from a group of North Korean officials all telling a story about how Kim Jong reverse dunked from the free throw line. JD Vance is obviously quite normal and likable and well-spoken. You can try to turn him into Cori Bush if you want but this is clearly just an orchestrated, alchemical, pseudo-reality-building Soviet-style smear campaign and it is so blatantly orchestrated that the CIA and Mossad and Vox and the gossipy clique of pretty girls at every high school in America all admitted that it is an orchestrated smear.

“Nicolás Maduro, their trusty president, who is claiming victory, even if, as Reuters reports, “multiple exit polls. . . point to an opposition win.” But why would you trust objective math instead of your subjective local strongman?”

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It’s an election so I assume there’s lots of cheating. That said, Labash referring to *exit polls done by fuckin’ Reuters (D) in Venezuela* as “objective math” really has to be on the Mt Rushmore of “My IQ is 95 and I trust The Science.” claims. The Credulous Rube Hall of Fame needs to add a roped-off display with a bronze replica of Labash’s laptop behind glass.

“It went not good. Lowlights included: Trump questioning whether Harris “is Indian or is she black,” since she allegedly used to identify as Indian then “all of a sudden, she made a turn, and she became a black person.””

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Yeah you certainly wouldn’t want to point out that she’s greedily profiteering off of slavery even harder than the people who actually owned slaves by screaming at everyone about how she’s a sad victimized Black person when no one would have even known that she’s Black if she hadn’t said anything.

I should point out that we do know for sure that she’s Indian and I haven’t heard anyone mention Biden’s hot mic moment when he said that every 7/11 cashier is from India. Just sayin’.

“Meanwhile, the VF writer lavished praise on Doug for his “dorky daddery,” for sewing up the cross-stitch vote, and for his winning disclosure that he heard the news of his wife’s near-comatose boss”

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So we get 1,000 words on the multitude of JD Vance hoaxes and in order to be fair and balanced we get this innocuous blurb about Emhoff without even a glancing reference to the fact that he’s a godforsaken adulterer who paid for an abortion. Awesome. Decency is on the ballot, ya homos. Vote for the fake Black lady, who is only here because she’s a whore, and her philandering infanticidal husband and their transvestite kid. But seriously that JD Vance guy is weird!!!

“But I’ll leave you on a hopeful note. We might be divided about a lot of things. You say tomato, I say tomahto. You say “stolen election,” I say, “Work your daddy issues out somewhere else.””

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When Democrats questioned every single election that they lost, nobody tried to smear or attack them personally. We just let them check.

Here’s the letter Elizabeth Warren and Amy Klobuchar signed in 2019 claiming Dominion voting machines were used for cheating.

https://www.warren.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/H.I.G.%20McCarthy,%20&%20Staple%20Street%20letters.pdf