Okay so I’m still waiting for my proposed ‘Two-thirds Compromise’ from the last newsletter to go viral. Nothing yet, but I’m still hopeful.
And if I have to hear one more person say this shit about how Pelosi is a true patriot because she is illustrating how we, as a nation, have decided to risk global economic collapse and potentially a nuclear holocaust in order to save 13% on microchips, I’m going to smash my head into a fucking window. Globalists are such goddam retards. Yes, globalist libertopians™️, I also like free markets and capitalism. But there’s this thing called ‘evil’ and it is the main thing that exists. So we have to, you know, make non-imbecilic decisions. I’m sure Noah Rothman and David French are currently working on an op-Ed about how we need to source all of our baby formula from Iran if we want truly to embrace free market principles and liberal pluralism. Jackasses.
Anyways……as all/none of you know I live in Seattle. I can actually hear the cartoon lightbulbs appearing over all of your heads as you think “Ah ha!! The mystery of why this guy hates the government more than anyone in the history of the human race has been revealed!!” Patty Murray and Jay Inslee really do not get the credit they deserve for being top-shelf dicksuckers. My congresspxrsxn is literally Pramila Jayapal, who is a godforsaken whore.
For reasons which I will dodge explaining, I was recently staying in a hotel and walking to the store to buy items. While I always hated it, it hadn’t previously dawned on me how extraordinarily gay it is to mandate paper bags. Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. Bricks, each of which would immediately and slapstickishly rip through the bottom of a paper bag if you attempted to carry them individually in this manner.
Apologizing, I asked the likely-high-as-hell kid behind the counter to double bag the health food I was purchasing while giving him a look that reeked of “we both know who fucking did this to us”. I could just imagine an unattractive barren woman explaining to me how I should carry a reusable bag for just this purpose. No, bitch, I’m not going to start carrying a satchel around like it’s the fucking 1800s. Okay?
By the time I got back to the hotel my forearms were genuinely in pain from awkwardly gripping the paper sacks. I’m lucky the weight of what I was carrying, which was modest, didn’t tear through and blow out one of the bags’ assholes, creating a mess on the sidewalk. But that’s when I remembered transgenderism. It all comes back to transgenderism if you think about it. (you guys also refer to the bottom of a paper bag as the bags’ asshole, right?)
While paper bags would be very helpful with some aspects of transgenderism, that’s not what I’m talking about. You have probably heard them say “Why can’t you just be polite? It’s not a big deal. Just use the pronouns.” This is an effective appeal if you don’t really stop to think about it. You should be polite. It’s not really a big deal. But they are ignoring something.
Imagine someone cuts in front of you at the grocery store. It is a minor inconvenience at best (unless it’s the 11pm rush of illegal immigrants who load $700 worth of free groceries into their carts; a transaction that takes easily 45 minutes). You should just let it go. Just be polite.
Imagine the person cutting in line in front of you at the grocery store is a mom struggling with three kids by herself and she cuts in front of you without noticing she’s doing it. You *would* be polite. You wouldn’t say anything and you’d just let it go.
Now imagine the person cutting in line in front of you is the guy who raped your sister and he makes sustained eye contact with you while cutting in line and gesturing towards his crotch. THAT is what the pronoun gender-bending shit is and THAT is what the paper bags are. Democrats are the rapist. Worse than rapists, actually. If I was allowed to stipulate a few small things I would gladly be raped quarterly instead of paying taxes. And they STILL want more than what they are taking, with no sense that it is legitimately hilarious and genuinely psychotic to ask for more at this point. But I digress……
It really is just a minor inconvenience that I had to struggle with those paper bags. Whatever. But the people who did it to me, the people who mandated the paper bags, are the worst and most despicable subhuman pieces of shit on the planet and they hate me almost as much as I hate them. So no, I’m not going to just be chill with your gay ass paper bags, mother fuckers. In a vacuum, I dislike the bags. In reality, I hate them with a burning passion because it was the progressives idea to mandate them and they are verminous utopian megalomaniacal dumbfucks.
Namaste. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
This is the best analogy of this I've ever read.
This is possibly the most eloquently written shit I've ever read. And I once read Twilight so obviously, I've read some eloquent shit. 😌