I thought that it was not possible for the Trump prosecutions to be more hilarious in a Hogan’s Heroes sort of way (it’s a comedy about Nazis and their prisoners). I mean he’s literally being prosecuted by the daughter of Jamaican Communist Revolutionaries AND ALSO the daughter of Black Panthers. Imagine if Neil Gorsuch’s dad was in The Klan. Would we discuss this ever? No? Okay. Good talk.
Anyways, the prosecutions have gotten funnier because the Black Panther Lady apparently was paying one of the guys who is blasting her from behind after work, to work on the case. This particular guy, who is ramming Dr. Willis in the doggystyle position after work, does not have any experience trying cases. He only has experience having sexual intercourse with the Democrat Black Panther Lady while she is on all fours. And for this, he has received over $1 million Brian Kemp Republican Georgia taxpayer dollars. People who are optimistic about the future of the United States are retards.
Speaking of people who are being hired for reasons that are farcical and beyond parody, let’s talk about DEI. It is clear that we need to start arresting people for doing DEI the way we arrest drunk drivers. Getting a DEI should be at least as bad as getting a DUI. We should make sure that people who are convicted of DEI lose their license and have to ride a bike for transportation.
Knowing the DEI people they might actually embrace this because it is allegedly good for the environment and affirmatively annoying as fuck for normal humans when you use a bike as transportation. So we will need to make sure that they are forced to ride a mountain bike in jeans like a scarlet letter. None of this fancy spandex Lance Armstrong stuff. While the Lance Armstrong bikers in spandex *should* feel the same amount of shame as the drunk drivers who now ride their mountain bike to Arby’s, the Lance Armstrong bikers do not feel this shame. They in fact feel virtuous, which is why we need a Constitutional amendment to mandate mountain bikes and jeans for DEI Democrats who talk about slavery at work.
So once we assemble a nationwide police force of White Christian Heterosexual Men, who are good at sports and own guns, to enforce these new DEI eradication laws (I am kidding if you are reading this while working for the FBI) how exactly will this work? How will our all-white male police force with large hands detect DEI?
Well first there’s the field sobriety test where we ask you to walk in a straight line. If your walking is too dainty or mincing then we handcuff you and charge you with DEI. If you are wearing sandals that look like sandals you purchased because you like sandals, as opposed to sandals worn out of sloth, then you’re arrested. If you start walking in a straight line but then you stop to mention slavery or career criminal George Floyd (D), then you’re arrested. The last part of the field sobriety test is where the officer involved asks you to follow his finger and then holds up a middle finger in front of your face because you’re a Democrat.
Next comes the DEI breathalyzer. The DEI breathalyzer is an antique Civil War trumpet that was used by the Confederate Army, obviously. People suspected of DEI will be asked to blow into the Civl War trumpet. If, when presented with the trumpet, they mention how we still feel the impacts of slavery, then it’s prison time. If they try to melt down the trumpet in a furnace, so that they can turn it into a metal dildo or sex handcuffs or a coin with Barack Obama’s face on it, then they are guilty of DEI and it’s off to the camps.
In order to keep DEI offenders off our streets we will need to prevent people from being over-served. So instead of suing bars that give you too many drinks, we will need to target universities that are doing excessive Democrat stuff. I know you’re thinking that this would describe all universities and you would be right and this is why we need to retrofit all of the universities. Put some bars on the windows and throw in some extra toilets and boom now we have the prison space for all of the people convicted of DEI.
Sheena Bellows is the Democrat Lady with borderline personality disorder who removed Trump from the ballot in Maine. I think we should call the era prior to her doing this the Antebellows Period. My conspiracy theory is that this is a Modified Litigious Hangout. A Modified Litigous Hangout is where you take a crazy legal theory and push it forward on purpose to make the next legal theory seem normal.
So the court will reject this, which has the nice side bonus of allowing them to label the court as insurrectionist and needing of expansion. And it’s likely that the court will reject this, in part, because Trump has not been charged with insurrection. So now Jack Smith says “Oh jeez I didn’t want to do this but my hands are tied and now I have to charge Trump with insurrection.”
So then he charges Trump with insurrection and it has to be expedited because the result is needed before the election and they get a conviction because it’s DC and now you’ve got a very reasonable basis to remove Trump from the ballot nationally that is very sensible compared to the crazy scheme to remove him that we tried earlier. See how this works? I should also mention that Colorado was the epicenter of the John Podesta faithless electors plot to overthrow the government when Trump was elected, so something ultra-communist is definitely going on in Colorado.
In closing, why has no one given Claudine Gay the nickname ‘Fraudine Pay’?? From a pun standpoint I find this annoying. It’s not that funny but it’s an obvious one. Also, I’m writing a movie about World War II where a flotilla of boats come to rescue soldiers with food poisoning, from spoiled rations, who have severe diarrhea. It’s called ‘Dungkirk’.
Okay one more thing about Claudine Gay. So she’s a hardcore antisemite and she has studied Ecological Inference. She is on the record saying that she is “proud of my scholarship”. Which is worse? Is it worse to have a maniacal hatred for Jews or to think that Ecological Inference is scholarship? I’m torn on this. Let’s call it a tie.
Okay, one more thing. If men, as a group, largely voted for communism, then I would be in the streets with a pitchfork demanding that men should not be allowed to vote. I understand that this means I don’t get to vote. So? I’m not voting because it makes me feel powerful and independent. I’m not voting for symbolism. I’m not voting for me. I’m voting for a result. Anyways, women who went to college should not be allowed to vote.
Cheers!!
Where is Comprof 2.0 when we want him? This screed needs some good old Jew hate.
Best $79.99 a month I've ever spent!