I kept waiting for the extraordinarily childish part, like the way I used to read National Geographics when I was a lad. But then the article was over and I realized you’re NOT BEING SERIOUS. I’m disappointed because the CVS makes so much sense. (Actually the helmet part was childish. Good one!!)
Really missed you, Lemon. Not sure why Janet Reno was included, maybe something about feds with submachine guns stealing Elian Gonzalez from his adoptive parents. I could totally imagine feds showing up at the door of Lia Thomas for an emergency dongectomy. That's the medical term last time I checked, which I did do.
I kept waiting for the extraordinarily childish part, like the way I used to read National Geographics when I was a lad. But then the article was over and I realized you’re NOT BEING SERIOUS. I’m disappointed because the CVS makes so much sense. (Actually the helmet part was childish. Good one!!)
You think this is the first time “the least you can do is cut your dick off” has been used? Hillary Rodham would like a word.
What we gonna do with all them leftover skin flutes? Sounds like another agency will be needed for pecker waste disposal.
Thanks for reminding me why you are my favorite Substack writer.
Hilarious, and spot on!
Really missed you, Lemon. Not sure why Janet Reno was included, maybe something about feds with submachine guns stealing Elian Gonzalez from his adoptive parents. I could totally imagine feds showing up at the door of Lia Thomas for an emergency dongectomy. That's the medical term last time I checked, which I did do.
$79.99/mo for a newsletter that comes out yearly is a little steep. Even if its fake money.
Glad to see you are back writing.